Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
