Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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