As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
