My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
