he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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