So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
