Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
