Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
