guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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