So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
