I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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