i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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