bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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