Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
