I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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