You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
