Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm just crazy horny about you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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