ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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