He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
