Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
