I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
