He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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