But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
