That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
