I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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