My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We are two peas in an std pod
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
