The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
