Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
