i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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