woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize