When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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