Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
