The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize