pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
