You just made me feel so damn special
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
