you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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