I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
