I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
