Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
