So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
