I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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