I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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