Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
