ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
