singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
