I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
