Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize