Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
