therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
