You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
