I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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