Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we have officially lost it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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