Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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