dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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