One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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