My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
