so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
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I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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