The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
