I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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